{Tenderness Tuesday}

Hi guys. I’m back to share the last part of our story of infertility.

This post will bring you up ‘to date’ with where our family stands today, but it’s certainly not the end of our story and this is most definitely not the last of my posts on infertility.

I’d like to think that in these last 8 years I’ve gained a bit of wisdom and insight and that is really what is on my heart and what I want to make sure comes through clearly.

{Catch up on the story by reading Part 1 // Part 2}

So I left off with our hopes of an IUI procedure crumbling before us. Hope is a funny thing in this process. You don’t want to loose hope of one day becoming pregnant and having {in our case} another baby. Yet, you have to guard your heart to not have too much hope lest you slip further and further down a dark slope each time hope fails.

Real hope, hope in Him never fails. It is only when we put hope in our own desires and our own strength and our own ways that it fails us. 

And so … for the next year I put off going forward with any more testing. I felt like it was easier to go along with the idea that I wouldn’t become pregnant each month than to get my hopes up again. Almost a year later, I decided I was ready to see where things were at and we once again had my husband’s count checked. Much to my surprise it had not only returned to the higher count it had been, but the count was the best it had been. We went ahead and scheduled another IUI for a few weeks later.

Over the next three months, I ended up having two IUI procedures. Neither one was successful in producing a pregnancy. Again I was emotionally spent and tired of the medication, the counting, the planning, the testing and the getting my hopes up. Our last IUI procedure was a little over a year ago. There are different numbers thrown about, but 3-6 IUI procedures is typical before it’s recommended you look into a different method. I think that I keep putting off the 3rd IUI because it feels like that will be our last chance. I keep hoping and praying that God will allow a ‘natural’ pregnancy. And so I wait some more … 

I know that I glossed over specifics of medication and tests, but I don’t feel like this is a medical self-help if you are struggling with infertility. Every couple is different. Every set of obstacles is different. What worked for someone else may not work for you. I try not to read too much or listen to too many stories of ‘what worked for us’ because I have yet to meet someone who had the EXACT situation we’ve had. Who have the same DNA as we have ;). I don’t want to put my hope in what worked for them. You and your spouse will have to meet with your doctors and figure out what might work for your situation. Don’t base it on anything else.

That is where we’re at today … waiting. Waiting for a few more tests to be ran and waiting for life timing to be conducive to another IUI procedure. Waiting is okay. Waiting teaches me dependence on Him daily to trust in His plan and His timing. Waiting allows me to take stock of all that I am blessed with and focus on those blessings. Waiting does not mean I give up hope on the desires of my heart, but waiting also does not mean I stop living this life I’ve been gifted.

“Joy’s a function of gratitude. And gratitude’s a function of perspective. Counting gift changes my perspective & my LIFE.” Ann Voskamp / One Thousand Gifts

I was beautifully reminded of the above quote this week, from the book that changed my heart attitude about our infertility. Joy and perspective and gratitude did change my life. Let’s talk more about that next time …

If you have questions about our story, I’d love for you to leave them in a comment or send me an e-mail. If I feel like they are appropriate to what I’m trying to share and will help and encourage others, I’d be happy to answer them. If you know me in real life, you know that I’m pretty open and would probably share way more than you ever wanted to know!


  1. You know that last line just made me laugh out loud for real!

    I’m so glad you’ve shared this part of your story. I know the Lord is going to use it to be an encouragement to someone!

  2. Every couple is different. Every set of obstacles is different. What worked for someone else may not work for you. I try not to read too much or listen to too many stories of ‘what worked for us’ because I have yet to meet someone who had the EXACT situation we’ve had. Who have the same DNA as we have***

    Truer words never spoken. This was such a help to me today, Andrea. Thanks so much!

  3. Such and emotional struggle, yes? I love Ann Voskamp. Her words have changed me, too.

  4. our music minister and his wife were told for 15 years that they would never have kids. they adopted four beautiful children and went about their lives living with that news. this summer she started having some medical issues and even thought she had liver cancer because of the symptoms she was having. when she finally went to the doctor to receive the bad news she found out she was six months pregnant! that little miracle baby girl was born last friday. someone once told me that the lord will give you the desires of your heart or he will change your desires to match what he wants for you. i don’t know where this journey will lead you and your family but just as he has been faithful up to this point he will continue to be faithful and lead right where he wants you to be. i can’t wait to see what happens!

  5. I had no idea that we are walking on roads with a similar view… My daughter is 12 and my son is 9. And my other six beautiful little ones never made it here.

    Still waiting, still praying, still thankful :)

  6. My sister and her husband are struggling with infertility and adoption issues and as I read your posts and listen to her I know that God gives us what we can handle and uses it to shape us. Stay strong. :)

  7. You are amazing! I mean it! :) Thank you for opening your heart, I’m sure it was harder than we can imagine.

    God is good!


  8. Sandy says:

    Thank you for posting the “to-date” part of your story. I had been wondering where things had gone since we last chatted about it. Looking forward to a sewing date hopefully soon! I love seeing your heart for God.

  9. I just stumbled upon your post and I am so thankful I did. My husband and I are dealing with secondary infertility and it is such a tough, long, lonely, hard journey. I have also felt the Lord more present than I ever have so I have found joy and strength in that. Your words about not comparing and finding your hope in someone else’s situation is so comforting to me. Thank you so much.

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